Would I like to go off roading today? YES!
A bit more than two hours later I was at the meeting point with all the other off roaders and much to my chagrin there were no Land Rovers. They were all Japanese vehicles like Mitsubishi and Toyota which from an engineering and off-road capability may even outcompete Land Rovers, but that’s not the point, they just aren’t Landys. In the UK if you say you go off roading then expect the question “what type of Land Rover have you got then?” because no one seriously buys a foreign 4x4! Well, some people might have a Suzuki Vitara but only because of lack of money which is an acceptable reason but apart from that nothing short of a full frontal lobotomy is a good reason not to have a Landy. Anyway, not being able to call them Landys, because they wern't, led to a predicament, I kept blaspheming by calling the 4x4’s ‘cars' by mistake.
I took my seat in the passengers side and we headed off down a ‘paper road’ which is the equivalent of a green lane in the UK and this took us to a proper public highway which was also the beach. In the UK beaches are beaches and roads are roads and they never mix. You can drive on the beach on Pendine Sands in Wales but one major difference between here and Wales is that here you’ll be splatting insects and not tourists on the windscreen.
(Paper road to the beach)
We left the beach after several minutes of travelling and started driving down tracks that led through the sand dunes and into an area used for training by the New Zealand military so there is ordnance, exploded and unexploded, in the area. We were intercepted by the local ranger which I found strange because usually I am the one on the rangers side of things by doing conservation voluntary work or just being irked by the noise of the engines, especially motocross bikes, they are sooooo irritating. The ranger appeared unperturbed by us, I suppose though that being in the New Zealand wilderness which is vast and unpopulated compared to the UK there isn’t anyone close enough to be irritated by us and the military regularly blow the place up anyway so we weren’t causing any bother to anyone. If a Mitsubishi Pajero has its 3.5litre V6 engine gunned in the sand dunes and no one (who finds it annoying) is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes it definitely does, and a darn good sound too! The ranger also told us about two unexploded 500pound bombs that are in some unknown location around where we were driving. I hoped not drive into either of them and to be a long way from one of the other drivers if they should somehow manage to detonate one, preferably the others should drive about five hundred metres, at least, ahead of the 4x4 I was in.
(Unexploded ordnance and/or being hunted, this is proper countryside)
We drove around some small dunes and ponds for a while, which was darn good fun, and then headed over to the ‘hundred footer’ or if you prefer the metric system, like I do, the ‘thirty point four eight metre-er’. As you can probably guess this was a thirty metre high sand dune which was considerably higher than all the other dunes that we encountered on the trip. One by one we all descended the slope, as well as a dog who did it in a tenth the time it takes for a 4x4 to get down. This was more spectacular than it was fun, but it was still fun, driving around the smaller dunes was much more varied and faster moving, but at least I can say I’ve done the hundred footer now.
(Looking down the 100ft'er)
We headed back to base then and everyone gave it some welly so we got back in no time. Time to wash all the sand of the 4x4's, re-inflate the tyres and have a barbecue before we all departed back to Auckland.
(Giving it some welly)
Getting back to Auckland I found the Mitsubishi to be comfortable, warm and it had automatic transmission so there was no clutch to do terrible whiplash inducing gear changes. How awful, this was very un-Land Rover like, I mean it could at least have given me reduced hearing for a week due to a noisy engine but it didn’t! It gave an altogether pleasant drive both on and off road which Landys just patently don’t offer and that's what makes Landys so great.
(The only tidal public highway I've ever been on)
(Definitely a road - speed limit sign on the beach)
Off roading was over for the day and what an awesome day, good enough on it's own to make me want to immigrate here! Now, off to the Christmas/birthday party I was invited to. Not to denigrate the birthday party bit, it was very enjoyable and full of great people, but yes it really was a Christmas party in July! Only in New Zealand, Merry Christmas everyone.
