Bank account

I went to Devonport today to set up a bank account, just a single normal bank account with no special attachments, like I have done in the UK. There are four banks on the main street so I went in each one to see what they could offer me and unlike the UK it turns out that almost every transaction, withdrawal and deposit incurs a charge, even the privilege of maintaining a bank account incurs charges. Each bank has different services they charge for and the charge for these individual services within each bank depends on the account you choose with them and these services can have different prices depending on how they interact with one another. The following is not an exhaustive list and covers only one bank: 

 

New or amended automatic payment or bill payment authority: Via branch $5.00, Via internet classic $2.00 – Cash withdrawals (also refer to important stuff about card fees when you go overseas): Other bank (in New Zealand) ATM usage 75¢ [This fee is in addition to any base and transaction fees and no exemptions apply], Overseas ATM’s $5.00, Teller assisted (NZ or overseas) NZ$5.00 – Alerts: TXT alert 20¢, email alert 5¢ - Statements: Replacement statement $5.00, Statement over the counter $2.00 – Unpaid transactions: Dishonoured cheque $20.00, Unpaid automatic payment/bill payment/IRD payment/direct debit $20.00, Stopped cheque $15.00 – Special payments: Special answer on a cheque $25.00 [plus courier charges], bank cheque $5.00 [manual transaction charges may apply], other bank deposit or transfer $5.00 [plus cheque clearance and cash handling fees] – Supplying notes to non-[this bank] customers: First $1,000 (or part thereof) per transaction $5.00, Each subsequent $1,000 (or part thereof) per transaction $2.00 – Supplying coins to non-[this bank] customers: First $100 (or part thereof) per transaction $5.00, Each subsequent $100 (or part thereof) per transaction $2.00 – Staff assisted searches: Signature checking/faxing fee $15.00, Document searches $60 per hour [$15.00 minimum].

Then I have to decide if I want a debit or credit card, at a monthly fee, decide how extortionate the overdraft fee will be and choose how much I want to pay the banks for the privilege of allowing them to open an account for me. Phew. Anyway, blithely I said to one teller (cashier in the UK) “that account looks all right”  who then retorted with “This account will only work in combination with one of the other account types that we offer and these are the charges that occur between them and these charges depe........” I then remember him handing me a business card that was white and has some blue writing and black writing on it and I left the bank somewhat disoriented. I didn’t make a choice on a bank account today and it may take some time to think about it.

On the street I made a beeline for Subway and sure enough it was, apart from the dimensions of the shop, the employees and about 19,000km, absolutely identical to the Subway in Falmouth in Cornwall and this fact is entirely unsurprising. Eating the sub whilst looking over the harbour to Auckland I was thinking: Hopefully, by Monday, I should have a bank account.

(Auckland from my Subway eating location)